Parental Alienation Laws
Parents searching for parental alienation laws want to know two things. Whether what is happening is against the law, and whether anyone can stop it.
The honest answer is that there is no single law called parental alienation. What exists instead is a set of powers a court already has. It also has a standard it must meet before using them.
This is not legal advice. It is a description of how these cases are actually decided, written by the person a Colorado court appoints to look into them.
Is parental alienation illegal?
Not as a crime, in almost every state. No statute makes alienation an offence the way assault is one, and nobody is arrested for it. A good deal of advice online implies otherwise, which is why so many parents arrive at a lawyer expecting a charge and leave confused.
In legal terms it is a pattern of behaviour a family court can act on. The court needs no dedicated law for that. It can already change parenting time, order counselling, and in serious cases change where a child lives.
So the useful question is not whether it is illegal. It is what a court needs to see before it acts.
What does Colorado law actually say?
Colorado has no alienation statute. It has two provisions that carry almost every one of these cases, and they do more work than a dedicated law would.
The standard for restricting parenting time. Under C.R.S. section 14-10-129, a court shall not restrict parenting time unless it makes one finding. That finding is endangerment to the child's physical health, or significant impairment of their emotional development.
The court must also write down the facts behind it. Read that twice. The bar is higher than most parents assume. It is not unpleasantness, and not a parent you would rather your child saw less of.
The best interests factors. Everything else runs through C.R.S. section 14-10-124. It lists what a court weighs when it allocates parenting time. One factor is each parent's ability to encourage the child's relationship with the other.
That is where alienation actually lands. A parent who undermines the other relationship is not breaking a law. They are failing a test the court already has to apply.
Is parental alienation a crime in Colorado?
No. Colorado treats it as a parenting matter and handles it in family court.
There is one narrow exception. A parent who keeps a child in direct breach of a court order can be dealt with as contempt. That is a separate process with its own consequences. The ordinary situation, one parent steadily turning a child against the other, is not a criminal offence anywhere in the United States.
Our post on how to prove parental alienation covers the documentation side in detail.
Alienation, or something else?
This is the part almost no page covers, and it decides more of these cases than the law does. When a child refuses to see a parent, two very different things can be happening, and from the outside they look identical.
AlienationEstrangementWhat causes itWhat the other parent has doneWhat the rejected parent did themselvesHow it fits the factsOut of proportion to anything that parent didProportionate, the child is responding to real experienceHow the child speaksBorrowed phrasing, adult vocabulary, few specificsSpecific memories, their own wordsWhat helpsRebuilding contact, often with therapeutic supportThe rejected parent addressing what happenedWhat makes it worsePressure on the child to explainPressing the alienation claim
A child who will not go because their father frightened them is not alienated, and treating them as though they are will make the situation considerably worse. A child who will not go while repeating phrases they could not possibly have come up with is a different picture altogether.
Most contested cases sit somewhere between the two, and often both are present at once. That is exactly why a claim of alienation is never taken at face value. Somebody has to work out which one is actually in front of them.
What happens when an investigator is appointed?
In a contested Colorado case, the court usually appoints someone to find out. Under C.R.S. section 14-10-116.5, a court may appoint a neutral third person as a Child and Family Investigator. It must set out that person's duties in a written order. I do this work.
The job is narrower than most parents expect. I read both accounts, then check them against sources neither parent controls. School records, medical records, teachers, coaches. What the child says, and how they say it.
Then a report goes to the judge. Nobody is deciding who is the better person. The question is what has actually been happening to this child.
What actually holds up?
The same thing that holds up in every family court matter. Behaviour, not conclusions. Two files describing the same month can read completely differently to the person assessing them.
A file that gets discountedA file that gets used"He is manipulative and alienating her""Missed Thursday contact on 4, 11, 18 and 25 September""She poisons the children against me""Each cancelling message arrived after 9pm, same evening""The kids are being brainwashed""School register marks the child present on all four days"Your interpretation of eventsWhat a third party can confirm independently
The first column tells a reader what you concluded, and none of it can be checked. The second can be verified against three separate sources without involving you at all. One of those documents survives scrutiny. The other invites the reader to start forming a view about you instead.
Three things carry real weight when an investigator reads a file.
Words that are not the child's own stand out immediately. Children repeat what they hear, and an eight year old does not spontaneously discuss a parent's finances.
A refusal that nothing explains matters just as much. When the record holds nothing to account for how strong the rejection is, that gap is itself the finding.
What the other parent did, rather than said. Whether calls were passed on. Whether the school listed both parents. Whether the child was actually made available.
Our post on what can be used against you in a custody battle covers what else an investigator looks at.
What can a court actually order?
More than parents expect, and less than they hope for. The remedies run on a ladder, and courts start low.
RemedyWhat it doesHow oftenMakeup parenting timeReplaces time that was missedCommonFamily or reunification therapyRebuilds contact with supportCommonParenting classOften paid for by the other parentCommonChange to the scheduleAdjusts the existing arrangementModerateContempt proceedingsWhere a court order was breachedModerateChange to decision-makingShifts who decides whatLess commonChange of residenceMoves where the child livesRare
Changing where a child lives sits at the bottom of that list for a reason. It is the step courts are most cautious about. Moving a child is itself disruptive, and that has to be weighed against the harm being stopped.
When is this not an alienation case?
When your child is telling you something and nobody is listening.
Everything above assumes a parent whose relationship with their child is being undermined from outside. Sometimes a child resists contact because of something that happened in that parent's own care. The alienation frame is then the wrong one, and pressing it usually makes things worse.
If you are not sure which situation you are in, treat that uncertainty as worth taking seriously rather than arguing past.
Frequently asked questions
Is there a law against parental alienation? Not as a standalone offence in most states. It is treated as a pattern of behaviour a family court can act on using powers it already has, including changing parenting time and ordering counselling. Colorado has no alienation statute and handles it through the best interests factors instead.
Is parental alienation a crime in Colorado? No. It is dealt with in family court as a parenting matter. Keeping a child in breach of a court order can be treated as contempt, which is separate. The ordinary pattern of turning a child against a parent is not a criminal offence.
What proof does a court need for parental alienation? Dated, factual records a third party can verify, rather than your conclusions. Missed time that school or medical records confirm. Language from the child that is clearly not their own. Evidence of what the other parent did with the relationship, not what they said about it.
Can you lose custody for parental alienation? It is possible but uncommon. In Colorado a court will not restrict parenting time unless it makes a specific finding. That finding is endangerment to physical health, or significant impairment of emotional development. Changing where a child lives is the step courts are most cautious about.